Updated: Dec 26, 2020
I put on my first Women's Reiki retreat teaching level 1 last month. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I have a lot of experience teaching my kids, but I've never led a Reiki class before. Everyone kept mirroring my truth to me, but the butterflies still stood. I grew up painfully shy and picked on, so I kept to myself. Pretty much until high school. I was always the girl that would do as much as possible to make sure people liked me, even though I knew they didn't. Of course that hurts but I didn't know how to talk about it and didn't have awakened enough parents for them to ask me how I was. Fast forward to now, I'm 39 almost 40 and am one of the biggest people persons I know. And not from the standpoint of I want or need people to like me. I just talk now...A LOT..to strangers mostly. I don't second guess if people are going to like me. So I think it's prepared me to be able to handle meeting women I've never met and having the confidence to know that I can pull us together.
I think my biggest fear was that I wouldn't be a good teacher. I wouldn't have enough sage advice to make a difference in their lives. That's my ultimate goal...to touch someone's heart so much that they leave feeling like they were seen and loved and can go home and give themselves that same feeling. I hadn't memorized the class, or "all" the words in the manual, and was just going to "wing" it. Which I did, and thank GOD none of them cared. There is beauty and value in the mess, the stumbles the imperfections. I've learned though that in the moments that aren't from the book, I can hold my own and be of value. My life experiences up to this point and the things that I have learned; need and want to be shared. And there are women out there who will benefit from it. I can confidently tell the little girl that spent 14 years not being seen, that I see you, and God sees you, and your angels and higher self see you. That feeling is over and above what any outside person will EVER give me.
None of my students knew each other, and I know they were just as nervous. Surprisingly...but not really...cause life is like this...we all clicked instantly. Every dream that I had of how this retreat was going to go came true. I told them all during class with tears in my eyes that I KNOW we've known each other before. You don't have instant chemistry without that being true. I love them like family now.
What I didn't think about and should have was how these 3 women were going to effect me. I was so wrapped up in hoping I helped them and taught them something useful that I didn't think too much about the reverse. Each of them inspired me for their unique gifts and abilities. To watch them tap into parts of themselves that they didn't realize were so powerful was breath taking...To see their higher gifts in action reminded me that I have those same gifts as well. I learned a long time ago that people act as mirrors for ourselves. I like to be honest and loving with myself and look at what someone is trying to show me. There are always ways to grow in every direction. When you spend time with people who are on the same path as corny as it sounds...you literally are giving them permission to shine. Reminding them that they DO shine, have always shone.
This is the magic of women coming together and sharing hearts and souls, and intuition and wisdom. Strip away all the world conditioning, and share our deep spiritual knowledge with each other. We each have it, despite us thinking we don't. It was never up to us...it's just who we are..
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. It is an honor to teach women how to tap into their true selves. To teach them the power and LOVE of the Reiki energy. To show them what divine love FEELS like. That is my biggest take away from my entire life journey so far. We can know something intellectually but to know from the heart is something different all together. Once you feel that energy radiate out of your heart, surrounding your body, you'll never be the same. You'll see how beautiful you are..not the body but the soul. And you'll cry happy tears!
I know this is just the beginning. I really have no idea where this is going to go. I have an idea of what I want but I am constantly reminded to let that go. That is equal parts scary as shit and freeing. I can feel the grandeur of my life at times. That feeling compels me to stop worrying about the "how". I'm invited to co-create with our source. To drop the fear and what-ifs altogether honour and just be. Be from the perspective of my higher self. Where everything is perfect and in order. Everything is happening exactly as it should be. Breathe that in every second consciously if I have to. Every moment life is being lived in the now. Not in the future and certainly not in the past. I know what they mean about the power of the present. I can't wait to meet the next group of women in Sept. in San Clemente. I'm SO excited for the power of the ocean, and once again the sacred power of women coming together!